she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
