Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
