How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
