That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is this like a preordered booty call?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
