You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
