you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
