Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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