after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
