He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
