Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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