I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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