remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
