If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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