chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
