So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
