i think my mom watched the whole time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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