She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize