dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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