Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
