pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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