is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
