There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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