never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
