Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize