Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
