omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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