i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
