remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Who died my cat blue again?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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