Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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