The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
