I saw his package. It spoke to me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
