He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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