Me. At least after what I've been through.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
