I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
