I should be sponsored by Trojan
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Still dying that you shit outside
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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