You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
