I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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