if only i could text you this smell
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize