Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
