problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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