C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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