where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
