This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
