Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
