Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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