rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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