Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
