one two three fourrrrnication!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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