Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
