Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
