Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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