the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
