He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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