Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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