i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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