i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
