his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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