Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
