i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
