I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
