there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
