Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
