gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.