We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.