she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
its like you know when i get waxed