Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
