He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
