you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
